“We want these dudes to get f**ked
up! I’m tryin to see some white foamy mouths!,” gushes Travis
Scott. A day before the Super Bowl, he and fellow trap music ingenue
Future are hosting the first annual Don’t Wake Up Cup, a 24-hour drug
binge sponsored by VICE.

Based in Los Angeles, the Cup will pit
two four man groups against each other to see who would be the first
to put away a laundry list of drugs:

Three 2-liter bottles of lean, an
eightball of coke, a half pound of weed, 33 xanax bars, and LSD.
There will also be two bonus rounds: one to see which group creates
the better song midway into the contest, and an Instagram-funded
prize for whichever group gets the most amount of likes on the
pictures and videos of them consuming drugs.

The two groups are devised of
“professional drug addicts” who have competed in the National
Turn Up League since 2016.

Wyatt Hearst, a 19-year-old considered
by many to be the best drug user in America, will be competing. The
first annual NTUL MVJ (most valuable junkie) notably competed in
three instances this year where his competitor overdosed, with two
dying.

“I’m trying to put all four of them
n*ggas to bed,” Hearst, who is white, said while putting mold in
his dreadlocks.

The contest will commence at 8AM, with
the “wake & bake from hell.” The contestants are expected to
swallow two LSD tabs and consume a quarter of the weed within two
hours or be disqualified.

Whichever side finished their drugs
first wins. The cutoff is 8AM next morning, at which point everyone
is disqualified.

Future and Scott will be commentating
the event, which will be livestreamed on YouTube. Scott raves that,
“he could finally see a real life OD in person.”

When asked if he or Scott would ever
consider competing in such an event, Future said, “Hell naw. I sell
death, not chase it.”